Transformation through True Connection
Yesterday I received a letter from one of my clients. He completed a 14 day immersion with me a few months back and his response touched me so deeply that I felt called to share it with you. His letter was like precious rain in the desert. His words soaked into my heart and through every cell in my body, assuring me that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. He and I laughed, cried, breathed, moved, sighed, and nourished ourselves together under one roof for 14 days.
This was a huge SHIFT for me as well for as him. I was finally able to see who he truly was, not just who he said he was. I saw his true self through his actions and behaviors. By eating, living, being, and breathing together 24/7, there was no hiding, no masks, and no bullshit. Everything arose from beneath the surface. I understood more about what means to be simply human through his eyes, and saw him as a reflection of myself.
The major breakthrough didn’t come just from the tools I learned or the modalities I applied, it came through the process of looking eye-to-eye, standing heart-to-heart, and being seen for who he truly was. Through his eyes, I learned about true compassion. At the end of the process, I remember sitting together and him telling me, “I finally feel ok to be myself for the first time… and that feels really good.” We cried and we ended our immersion journey with big hug and the deepest breath together as one. Through the experience, I realized how important it is to be connected with the people I serve at the deepest level. It’s the connection that makes the breakthrough possible.
Quite often people ask me, “What do you do?”…and I like to answer them with firm, bold eyes and say confidently that, “I change people’s lives.” It took me a long time to get here. I’ve been resisting my power even though I have healed many people, saved people from almost dying, brought voices back, and watched as my intentional visions and dreams became reality.
Finally, I decided to put my ego down and completely surrender to my faith. My ego screamed at me to go back to my comfort zone where I created the reality that I was told to create; the domesticated reality, the place that my parents told me was the right place to be, the box I was supposed to comfortably fit in.
Now I am standing in and claiming my own power. I treat every single day as a precious and creative playground. I can finally be myself. I can finally let my inner little girl out to play, and she’s helping me stay fully in the present moment. My work is now my play, and I play all day, not even noticing when the sun has gone down and the night air has begun to dance around me. I am simply in the moment, without any thoughts, without any worries. My inner child who I abandoned for so long is now always with me. 24/7 she never ceases to be my greatest teacher. She has taught me more about myself than I’ve learned with any other teacher I’ve studied with.
I will continue to bow down, be humble, and surrender to the Divine in my deep commitment to serve others and myself. Gratitude is my best friend; she sits beside me as an anchor. On the other side sits fear; one of my other great teachers.
My Zen Master always asked me, “when you reach enlightenment, what can you do after?”
My answer is, “how can I help you?”
This is the letter from my client.
“I’m 42 years old and have been fighting severe depression for over 30 years. I’ve been on dozens of different anti-depressants and psychoanalysts have been part of my weekly routine since I can remember. In January 2017, I’d had enough. I made a quick and abrupt decision to book a flight to Santa Monica and work with Jummee Park, founder of Full Spectrum Retreat. After a friend of a friend spoke about Full Spectrum – more specifically, about Jummee and her unique style of life coaching and approaches to meditation and breathwork – I hit the brakes on any further research. I needed help crawling out of the dark, and I needed help fast.
Taking my friend’s word could have easily been a careless decision. Yet in reality, it turned out to be the smartest, most meaningful action I had ever taken in my life. I phoned Jummee directly, and I explained it all to her. My own story of living with depression, the persistent feelings of self-hate and chronic low self-esteem, the truth about being in psychotherapy and on medication for close to 30 years (which I had felt no meaningful results from along the way). Most importantly, I told her I’d had enough and I had to do something about it now, because I was no longer sure there would be a ‘later.’
Jummee didn’t need to consider a single thing before inviting me to join her in Santa Monica for a 2 week immersion. At least that’s how it seemed given how quickly she extended her hand out to mine. She was so comforting in how certain she was that she could help me begin a new way of being.
My story wasn’t unique. My pain wasn’t unique, or even uncommon. She already had her own proof that someone like me, with all my history and baggage, could no doubt see what peace of mind, and yes, even happiness, tasted like. Her schedule? Her time? Could she actually help me? None of that was any concern to her. Immediately she’d be ready to receive me and begin our work together. Our conversation lasted roughly 20 minutes. An hour later my flights were booked. Three weeks later I landed in Santa Monica for the first time in my life. I was greeted not only by sunshine, but by the biggest hug I’ve ever gotten in my life.
Jummee introduced me to the concept of breathwork, movement meditation, and her “yoga of play”; the JUMMEE Method. I never understood what it meant to feel “centered,” but through these three methods, I actually began achieving what she had been speaking about during our time together; “Do not allow your past to define who you are now, in this very moment… Worrying is meaningless… What other people might be thinking about you is toxic to your own happiness. Life is now so be in it.”
Her style was completely stress-free, as she consistently applied a mood of fun throughout my experience. However, what may be most important were our moments and conversations between playful exercising. Jummee engaged me on an intellectual level, one that helped me make sense of it all. This was not a robotic experience. When I left her house, I was going to need to understand the “why” of what we were doing so I could have a better chance at taking all I learned with me. It’s those conversations that I’m convinced saved my life.”